SKYNI

It was scary driving to work this morning. I have to be extra careful as the roads were flooded and i want the kids to get to school safe and dry.

But sometimes, it is not up to us. We were hit by a car this morning along the CTE. . Linn was startled by the bump and immediately let out a cry. (Yes, she is a little dramatic). The guy came out of the car to inspect the damage. He assured me that there was no damage. I got out of the car in the pouring rain (after my umbrella refused to work) and checked to see if everything is ok. As I didn’t want to cause another traffic jam, we got back to our cars immediately. I should have taken his number as i discovered the damage only much later.

Linn was ok …she even asked me when i got back into the car ‘Is that your friend mummy?’ which made me want to laugh even though i was soaked wet.

We managed to get to school and work in very very bad road conditions.

I started to wonder if these freak thunderstorms exist in Sweden. At least, it is not cold here. I can imagine it being both cold and wet in Sweden…and how dreadful it will be. On the brighter side, we just make sure that we will be cuddled up together in a fireplace, toasting marshmallows and drinking hot chocolate during these times!

I caught Jonathan doing something strange lately. He has been undressing Barbie, taking out all her clothes and telling me that he wants to give her a bath. Does he think that Barbie can be a playmate for Ironman? I wonder if he is just curious.

Maybe i just take consolation that at least he knows how to undress her.

Jonathan is going through an Ironman phase. He has been holding on to his Ironman toy for the past month and does everything with it. He even swims with it.

Nicke has passed him the Ironman comic book and Jonathan has been asking me to read the comic book to him every night. The problem is…i don’t know Ironman stories. So I have to make up one every night about what Ironman does with Dr Doom.

Last night, when i was having a really bad migraine, I started with Ironman being good friends with Dr Doom and they went out to play together and then I said ‘The End’.

Jon’s response was “But Mummy, ‘The End’ comes at the end of the book”…as he turned to the last comic page. “We can’t end the story in the middle”. He insist that I read the 100+ page book from the beginning.

Another job for Nicke to do when he gets back. Teach Jon how to read comics.

Jonathan and Linn really take after their father when it comes to swiming. They love the water.

They have been taking swimming classes for the past 6 months and i am very proud that Jonathan is now starting to make some progress. His stamina has improved and feels comfortable going to a deeper end to tread water. He even refused help when we try to pull him out of the water and continues to pop in and out of the water.

Linn on the other hand has her moments. She tells the swimming coach ‘Teacher Edward’, that she does not want to put her head in the water during her swimming lesson. But she loves to jump into the water using the dive board. Obviously she is so comfortable with Teacher Edward that she jumped 3 times yesterday with no fear.

Here we are celebrating cousin Evan and Kyle’s 1st birthday. When we first arrived at the pool side party, Jon and Linn immediately took off their clothes and jumped into the pool. The thing is, I wasn’t expecting them to swim and so didn’t bring their swimming costumes. So, they were the only kids running around in their underwear. Linn was the first to jump into the pool and refused to get out even after the party has ended.

A warning to mothers out there ‘Do not buy the Transformers toys if you are not able to put it back together’

How difficult can it be right? I thought to myself when I was choosing one for Jon. I picked Level 3 (max level 5) and it says for 5 year olds and above.

It was easy enough transforming it from a jetplane to ‘robot/alien’. But when Jon asked if I can help fix it back to Airplane…what was when the trouble started. I twisted, turned the darn toy till my fingers hurt. I still cannot put it back to an ‘Airplane’. I hid it from Jon hoping that he won’t ask for it again. And yes, i did think of throwing it away. Maybe, i leave it for Nicke to fix it when he gets back.

Maybe that is the objective of the toy…to spend hours trying to transform this toy. Can’t say that I had fun…more like tears.

I was putting Linn to sleep and she started to pull my hair. In anger, I told her to stop pulling my hair “If you pull my hair, i will loose all my hair and do you want me to look like Papa?”

She shook her head and I continued to pat her to sleep but accidentally pulled a knot on her hair. She immediately said

‘You pull my hair and afterwards, i look like Papa you know’!

I don’t know to laugh or cry!

My little princess is pretty drama these days. Where did she learn all these little actions from. Whenever I give her a little treat she goes …”REALLY? You got this for me, Mummy?’ .’Thank you’. As she smiles sweety.

She told me yesterday that I have to bring her to Sweden as it is her birthday she claims.

Unlike Linn, Jonathan will just give a small smile when he receives a treat. Sometimes, he will be coy when requesting for his favourite Oreo cookie. But he can be aggressive when he wants to. He will tell me that i must say ‘YES’ to his requests and not ‘No’.

He now understands the use of money specially in supermarkets and have been requesting for the green $5 note. He tells me that he wants to just hold it and will smile when he has it. I tried to trick him by giving him some other currency (Mauritius dollar) but he only wants the Singapore note. So monopoly money will not do. I have been explaining that he needs to work for the money. So i make him tell Linn and I a fairy tale to earn the money. But I really didn’t expect him to start asking for money at this age.:(

These days, Jon even negotiates. I have forbidden him to bring his Ironman to school as he lost the previous one. He told me that he wants to bring Ironman to school but he will leave Ironman in his schoolbag.

Who can say ‘No’ to Jonathan when he make a special request.

It’s hard to be a supermom. One who can hold a full time job, run a good household, and be there 24/7 for your kids and husband. I wonder how some women do it. Maybe it is in their genes. But definitely not mine.

Occasionally, i consoled myself that it is alright that i cannot be a supermom. I should just do my best and don’t be so hard on myself. I was watching the movie Sex in the City 2 and could totally understand what Charlotte went through with her 2 girls. They were driving her crazy but she loved them so much. And when her friends were concerned that her husband is having an affair with the sexy nanny, her main concern is that ‘she cannot lose the Nanny’!!!!

Motherhood changes you. Who would have thought that I will agree to move half way round the globe for the children’s sake. These days, my colleagues and people who knows about our move give me this look that says ‘Are you crazy? Do you know what you are doing’? A colleague reminded me yesterday that i will be ‘maidless’ and have to do cleaning myself.

I think they underestimate the power of love we have for our kids. This morning, when Jonathan’s school teacher called to say that I have to take him home as he was running a fever. I just packed my bags, dropped everything and rushed to school. Nothing is more important than the children’s well being and everything seems so unimportant. I guess for my kids, i am the world to them. …also their dishwasher, storyreader, cleaner, driver, TV remote control.

It doesn’t matter if I can never be a supermom. I will just be ME and love them the best way I can.

The digital revolution is truly daunting. I have been attending a 2 day digital training session on how to embrace the new technology as this is very much the future.

Yes I can see how social media and the web has improved our lives and gave us endless choices, possibilities, keep us connected to friends and a new definition of entertainment. I agree that it has certainly improved our lives. Like most of my peers, i facebook, blog, email and surf. But that is on top of my full time job and being mother to two very active children. So maybe women are now even better at multi-tasking but definitely, a lot more tired.

Youth these days live and breathe with WIFI. They can find everything online and don’t see the need to watch TV, radio and cinema. Who needs to watch TV when you can download the entire GLEE series online without ADs?

As much as I appreciate and enjoy the new media, i can’t help but wonder if my kids will ever enjoy the thrill of receiving a hand-written letter, and read the gossips on the actual magazine like 8 days! What will their social circle be like? How will they earn trust, honesty and respect amongst their friends? I certainly don’t hope that their most intimate relationship is with a computer and that they will be totally lost without an internet connection. Will they be able to build truly meaningful and real relationship based on trust, honesty and respect?

We cannot stop the digital evolution but we should try to nurture our children so that they can build healthy offline and online identity.

Is it really true if you haven’t used the item for more than 3 years, you are unlikely to use it again? I know that it applies to clothes but I wonder if it applies to CD.

I have started reviewing our belongings and making hard decisions on what to throw out. I have been told by the movers that our family belongings cannot even fill a 15 foot container at the stage and yet, i am still keen on throwing some of the stuff out. I am really big on being a minimalist.

I came across my old CDs and I haven’t heard some of these CDs for more than 4 years. Who would have thought i listen to stuff by Digweed, Paul Oakenfold, Thievery Corporation, Dave Seaman etc. They remind me of my clubbing days when i am keen on dance and chill out music. But since i have the kids, the only thing I listen to regularly are baby songs.

I am still deciding if I should discard them and it is difficult. Some part of me still think that i will listen to them again. Maybe one day, when my kids stop requesting for the baby songs, i can educate them with a dosage of Fat Boy Slim. Who knows, maybe like Mummy, they will like it.

For the past month, the kids have been demanding that i read them their favourite stories from Richard Scary’s Fairy Tales. They love ‘The Gingerbread Man’, ‘3 Little Pigs’, ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and their current favourite is ‘Goldilocks and the 3 Bears’.

I wonder how many times i have read the story and sometimes, in one night, more than once. I tried to hint to the kids that mummy is sleepy and tired. So i decided when Goldilocks fell asleep on the Baby Bear’s bed, Mummy will pretend to sleep as well. But of course, my little Linn will not allow it. She shook me and shouted ‘Mummy, you are not Goldilocks, you cannot go to sleep’. With that, she forced me to finish the story.

The joys of motherhood.

Last Sunday, when Jon and Linn went for their swimming classes with Teacher Edward. Linn only can last 15 mins of the swimming class as she told Edward with full conviction: ‘I don’t want to wet my face’. The rest of the 45 mins goes to Jon.

While we wait for Jonathan to do his laps, i took the opportunity to talk to Linn and reinforce the message of us moving to Sweden in a month’s time. I told her that she will have to say goodbye to her teachers, Ms Susan, Wang Lao Shi and all her friends in school like Anan, Casius, Aidan, Lucas, Chloe. She will also say goodbye to Grandma, Ki-en, Juwin and Yee Yee. But she will go a new school there and make loads of new friends. She will be happy.

Linn listened carefully to what i said and she nodded. She then hugged me tightly and said…’I don’t want Mummy to go away’. I want to be with Mummy’.

My baby, she says the sweetest thing sometimes.

‘What is my car’s name’ Linn asked one morning on the way to school. I never thought about it and never named our Mazda after my first car, Hilda the old Merc. I replied ‘Mazda’. So I took this opportunity to tell the kids that Papa has bought a new car in Sweden.

‘What is the new car’s name’ Linne asked quickly. I told her ‘Audi’. So that is how ‘Goodbye Mazda, Hello Audi’ came about. But the kids don’t want to know Audi.

‘No…it is Hello Mazda, Goodbye Audi’ our cheeky monkey says. The kids then try to teach me how to say Mazda…’No, it’s MAZda….no, it’s MazZZZZZZda…no, it’s MazDA’. They really like the Mazda.

I must say that it is a great family car. It has served us well. Just yesterday, a car dealer asked me what is the mileage. My response of 50,000 km was quite a surprise for a 2 year old car and Shu Ping asked me to check if it is correct. I thought about it. We have been making 30km trips x 2 each day with the car, picking and dropping the kids to school. We have driven to KL, Malacca and driving cross country have never been an issue for us. We sometimes just go for car rides to get them to take their afternoon naps.

So, we will miss you Mazda. Specially your sliding doors.

I was totally not prepared to go through the birds and bees with Linn. I know that Nicke has been telling her ‘Boys have penis and girls have vagina’ part but I wasn’t expecting her to fully understand.

Just the other day, she stood naked next to me and poked my breasts. She proudly said ‘We are Girls..we are the same’ and she proceeded to point at the groin and said ‘Boys have this long thing that shoots out’. After that, she insisted that we go to Jon, pull down his pants to examine his ‘thing’. My immediate reaction is that she cannot pull down boys’ pants to look at their ‘thing’.

I will have to explain to her that these are PRIVATE parts. Thanks to Anan’s mum who came to visit us with Anan on Saturday. She told me that she explained to her kids that only mummy and daddy are allowed to touch these parts…no one else can without permission. I think that is a good idea…so now, i will find some ways to tell her.

How time changed. I don’t think my own mum ever told me anything about the birds and the bees.

She is only 2 and she is already picking out her clothes, telling me that she doesn’t wear a specific dress because it is not pretty. These days, she picks her own bags and shoes too.

I know that I should let her develop her own dressing although i must say that the combinations are alittle ‘off’ sometimes. I get a little concern when she tells me she rather wears her brother’s clothes and that she prefers to wear pants.

So, i wonder if i go crazy if she picks something i don’t like. Will I let her step out the door wearing something I totally disapprove? These days, i try to influence her by telling her that the combo is not nice. Like how can you wear Bob the Builder socks with crocs and a pretty spaghetti strap floral dress? and no, you should not mix yellow with purple. and honey, yellow is not your colour.

Maybe I think that her dressing reflects on my own taste as well. I will only be deceiving myself to say i will let go and let her do her own thing. I will try to exert my influence or at least until she stops listening to me.

So now, to satisfy my little fashionista, i give her options. but i make sure that they are all approved options in the first place.

My Princess Linn

Baby, I know you are really excited about going to Sweden. The teachers in school told me that you have invited all of them plus your friends to Sweden and you want to bring them all with you. I think it is really cute and I wish that i can bring them all along as well. That will make you really happy.

You are going to make a lot of new friends and I think you will like it very much. Mummy and Daddy will find a nice school for you. The only thing i worry about is that you may not get used to the new language at first but i know you will get a hang of it very quickly.

I love you,

Mummy

I have to do the inevitable and submitted the following today.

1) ‘Notice of Termination’ To Linn’s Playschool – Pat’s SchoolHouse

2) ‘Notice of Termination’ to Jon’s school – St Gerard’s School

3) ‘Letter of Resignation’ to my employer – Nokia Pte Ltd

I must say that it was difficult, specially the last one. It has been a good 7 years with Nokia – A comfortable job, good company to work for and i met some really nice people, whom i hope i will remain in contact. It is with great sadness that i handed in my resignation. Most people know anyway because of Nicke. I think it will be bigger news if I don’t join him.

The other 2 were also difficult as the schools have been good to Linn and Jonathan. They made good friends there and most importantly, they are happy.

But life goes on. I know that we have to make this move for Jonathan’s sake. Anything for our precious child.

It will be worth it. We will never know till we try.

The kids spend quite a bit of time on the road each day…going to and from school. Sometimes I really wonder what is on Jonathan’s mind. He remains largely quiet as Linn is always monopolising the time with her singing and laughter.

In his quiet ways, Jonathan looks out of the window looking for interesting buses, cranes and STOP signs. On some occasions, he will shout out ‘Mummy, look at the Animal Bus’, ‘See the Monster Tree’ and when he is really curious, he will ask ‘Where are we going Mummy?’. On really bad days, he will take it literally and insist we stop the car to obey the STOP sign rule.

Whenever possible, i will glance at my little four year old and ask him what he did in school that day. Most of the time he ignores these questions as he continues to day dream. One day i tried so hard to probe that Linn said ‘I don’t think Kor Kor understand you, Mummy’.

If he can only share with me his thoughts…i will be so happy. Maybe one day.

But perhaps he just likes to daydream like Mummy. Whatever it is, i love you Jon.

Nicke left for Sweden last Friday morning to start his new job. We will join him later in July 2010. Jon and Linn are already missing Nicke and constantly asking where he is and what he is doing.

At this age, they don’t really understand that we are moving to Sweden in a month’s time. I am sure Linn is going to miss her friends at Pat’s SchoolHouse, Anan, Cassius, Wang Lao Shi and Ms Susan. She has only been told that she will be celebrating her birthday in Sweden and she is really excited about it.

But for now…Lots of stuff to do to get ready for the big move