I am seriously wondering if there are any mothers out there who can get their kids (3-6 years old) to obey and do exactly what they are told PROMPTLY without shouting and without repeating the instructions. My kids just don’t listen and I have tried almost everything.
These days I have a ‘3 times’ rule. I will not repeat myself 3 times and after that, I will take away their toys or candy if they don’t listen and obey. I have also confiscated Jon’s iPad indefinitely. Sounds cruel? Yes, but i am going mental listening to my own voice.
Linn says she wants to be a ‘good’ girl but when I asked her to describe a good girl, she replies innocently ‘I don’t know’. As for Jon, I am seriously thinking of creating videos of myself and playing in front of him repeatedly. It seems like he can only pay attention to
ýoutube videos. He can remember and repeat the video script but not hear a word I am saying.
I have been reading some of the comments about Amy Chua …and don’t worry, i do not think I can use the same method, unless I don’t mind being banned from my Swedish community. But this is how my own mother brought me up. My sisters and I used to live in fear of offending her. We have a very strict Ámy Chua’ upbringing.
Of course, I want my kids to grow up in a loving environment and I want them to be happy. How can they be happy if they keep getting punished for disobeying and not listening? I really don’t want to shout. BTW, where can I get more patience?
Maybe I just need a good microphone and a good recorder!
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hi! it’s the same thing here. i too have the same 3 times rule. i think my voice is the one the boys tune out until i shout at them in a hysterical tone. my neighbours must thing i’m an abusive mother shouting at her kids all the time!! i decided to be like them rather than i’m-the-mummy-u-better-listen-to-me-or-else way… they seemed to respond better. anyway, we learn as they learn 😀
gong xi fa cai! will u celebrating CNY over there?
You defintiely not alone. I am so sure that I will be sharing similar stories with you in a couple of years and you will be advising me in all your calmness how i should deal with such situations.
Be firm – instilling fear at the right time is the way to go.
Gong xi gong xi.
you’re NOT ALONE in this. Believe me. I don’t think it’s exclusive to 3-6 yr olds as well. At my age, I’ve just learnt to appreciate my mom better since being a mom myself. Doesn’t mean I listen though – just less talk back now and plain grateful for the sound of an adult for a change. There’s always the smile-&-nod but not listening technique too.
For my son I need to spell out EVERY little thing in advance as I find he takes to last minute announcements badly. So details like when he can have his free time, when it ends, what he can do, consequences etc are spelt out in detail. He’s of course deaf when either the TV or anything electrical is turned on so I have to choose the right time to talk to him or risk losing my voice shouting over the gadgets. I prefer to lose my voice over Chinese New Year cookies.
My daughter is different (I think it’s a gender thing). She responds better to verbal responses but you’ll have to put up with her last word on almost everything. So I have to bite my tongue not to give a her stinging retort in order to lose the battle but win the war.
Of course there are times when they are plain angels and I wonder what’s happened there. I think there are books around which may help with understanding the growing ages better although I’m too lazy to read them. I prefer novels where I can go off to another world instead of immersing my free time learning to be a better mom. SAD!!!
Anyway, just know you’re in a total normal family relationship and everyone of us is going through what you’re facing right now. The 3 times rule sounds absolutely reasonable and really, being Chinese you know, having the “ten tiao” (in Mandarin) or “Sha Ten” (Cantonese) around and just making the “piak piak” sound really works too. Look at us!! LOL
Hang in there and do the SITC with us.. promise you you’ll not regret it……………..